The Things People Say

I read about an interior designer who helped redecorate a home. She said of the couple's four year old twin boys, "They are like drunken, crazed raccoons."

Aptly put, if I do say so myself. I well remember when my twin brothers went through the drunken, crazed raccoon stage. They are barely out of it now, as they approach their fiftieth birthday.

Moving right along to other things people say:

We were dining out Sunday after church and Daughter was laughing about an animated video she saw where wild animals were chasing other wild animals for food, except all the animals looked like giant balloons, with very short legs.

Husband was looking shifty eyed like he wanted to say something, so I asked him if he did. He shifted his eyes again and leaned toward my ear. "Don't say the "f" word." He told  me.

Well, now, that was as surprising to me as it may be to you, if you know me. I don't imagine any of  you reading have ever heard me say the "f" word, especially in a public restaurant right after church services.

I must have looked startled, because Daughter immediately wanted to know what he said. So, I put my hand to my face and mouthed what Husband had just whispered to me.

She barked with laughter, startling the waiter who magically appeared at that very instant. (They do that, you know. I think it's a  job requirement.)

Well, turns out, the "f" word Husband was referring to was "fat", not you-know-what. Apparently Daughter had used the word fat in her description of the cartoon animals and there happened to be a morbidly obese person sitting to the left of us.

Now, I understand Husband did not want to hurt this person's feelings. Neither would I. I try to never hurt anyones feelings under any circumstances unless it is to wake them from a dangerous slumber of activity. Sometimes when you love someone  you'll even try hurting their feelings if you think it might help.

But, no, not a random stranger.

However; I suspect this person hears the word "fat" every day, used in many contexts. I know I do. I would think he surely does not apply this as an insult to himself every time he hears it.

Daughter said if she couldn't say "fat" without having to think about it, then nobody better say "thin", "skinny", "tiny", etc. in front of her. Daughter is, well, skinny.

Don't get me started on blonde jokes. Yes, I'm blonde, why do you ask?

You say you didn't have to ask?

Ha! That right there was a blonde joke.

Anyway, Husband's heart was in the right place.

I just don't think we can live that way. Too much like the thought police.

But please be sure and not be thoughtless, though.

There's enough of that mess going around without you adding to it!