Why Is It?

I'm getting a haircut in a few hours, and it started me thinking: (Oh, no, I hear you say)

Why is it when your hair finally looks really good, the  next time you wash it, it all goes to grass and you need a hair cut in the worst way?

Why is it when you get all your nails out to a really nice length, you break one and they all go, just within a few days, until you might as well be grubbing worms barehanded?

Why is it when you have an injury - sunburn, bruise, cut, amputation, whatever - that's where your friends and family will thump, slap, rub or squeeze as soon as they see  you?

Why is it when you get the farthest away from  your car that it starts raining - hard - when only minutes before the sun was out?

Why is it when you look your absolute worst, but really have to - run out to the mailbox, run in the store for a loaf of bread, run to the gas station to fill up - that is when  your Prince Charming from high school that you had a really bad crush on, shows up, looking  not a day older and dressed immaculately? (He looks at you kindly and says, "You look vaguely familiar. Are you the mother of one of the girls I went to high school with?")

Why is it when you finally hit that perfect pitch high note, or hit the ball the farthest you ever have, or hit the bulls eye twelve times in a row, or do a perfect cartwheel, there is never anyone to witness it?

Why is it when you say something absolutely brilliant, there are only a handful of dunderheads that hear it, but when you say something really, really stupid or embarrassing, it's in front of a crowd?

Why is it when you are out and about and you really have to pee, that your elderly third grade teacher stops you to chat about how  much fun she had at her 107th birthday party (that you weren't invited to) or the neighborhood hypochondriac stops you to tell you about her latest surgery/illness/episode, or you have a flat tire three miles away from the nearest bathroom and you don't have cellphone service in that area?

Why, people, why?