Riddle of the Day

Okay, okay: How many new vacuum cleaners must you buy before one actually, like, you know, works?

Answer: We don't know yet, 'cause so far we are three for 0.

Our ancient vacuum (read two years old) died and when you have a zoo living in your home, that's pretty close to a national emergency.

So, off goes Husband to purchase a brand spanking new one.

He gets home with a brand you would all recognize, puts it together, turns it on, and...

The animals froze in absolute terror, then took off for parts unknown. Daughter and I were screaming, "Turn it off, turn it off!" at the top of our lungs.

"What?" Husband screamed back.

"TURN IT OFF!"

It was louder than a 747 taking off while you stood underneath it, and I ain't kidding.

Husband re-packs it (sort of) in the box and goes back to the store to return it.

Vacuum number two arrives, a different and well known brand, and Husband once again puts it together. The side attachment, the hose that cleans corners and furniture, would not suction. He crams it back in the box and goes back to town.

Reverting back to the previous brand, but a bigger, better model, (read over one hundred dollars more expensive) he comes home, puts it together and voila'! It works. Husband is so happy he actually vacuums!!

A few days later, when he starts to vacuum the foyer, the hose attachment won't suction. He mentions it and says he needs to read the instruction booklet, because it worked so well the first time, he's sure it's him and not the machine.

Foolish, foolish Husband.

A few more days go by. He reads the booklet. Hose won't suction. After a few strokes on the carpet, neither will the upright part suction.

Since a trip to the dump had taken place after the initial, perfect work out, and the box had taken the trip, Husband has no box to take this one back in, but they gave him his money back anyway. I guess they figured a  man holding a huge vacuum, hair standing straight up with a maniacal look in his eye better get his money back.

He didn't purchase another one today, because he has two models he's going to look up and read reviews to see which is the better.

Wish Husband luck. I don't know how much more he can take.

 And our carpet is beginning to look like that furry stuff that was so popular back in the seventies.

As for other news, when I started to set the oven temperature to cook dinner, all digital buttons refused to work except the one, four and seven. The stove is three years old.

More on that later.

I'm sure you can hardly wait.