Every Which Way But Loose

I've been turned every which way but loose.

You might guess: I've been to the chiropractor.

And I've been wrassled.

I've been attacked by a nail gun, but I will give her credit: I don't think it was loaded.

I've been turned nearly upside down.

I had burning fire on the upper part of my back and ice on my lower back, all at the same time.

My arm has been rotated like she was trying to crank an old engine. (maybe she was!)

I've been given instructions and told to come back Saturday.

Boy, I hope this makes me feel better.

If it don't, it's liable to kill me dead.