I Broke My Scooter

I haven't blogged in a few days because I've been busy.

Busy moaning, crying, gasping, pouting, etc.

My scooter broke.

You know how when you are in bed and  you scoot your bottom over to get more comfortable?

Can't do it.

I am locked down, stove  up, tore up, messed up and hurt.

For some reason, when my bottom wouldn't scoot, I panicked.

Husband tried to calm me down, and moved me for me until I got comfortable.

I went to the chiropractor, but couldn't see the woman who has helped me before.

So I saw somebody else.

And now, I'm worse.

I got a massage yesterday and couldn't get off the table. She had already left the room so I could get up and get dressed. I had to holler, "My bottom won't move!" She graciously moved me for me.

This has got to stop.  I'm beginning to feel cheap and tawdry.

Wow! Tawdry would be a great Scrabble word!

I dug out the tinge unit, and of course the batteries were dead. They finally charged,and it gives me some comfort.

Tonight we are going to "The Atlanta Christmas Musical". Husband's first cousin is the co-writer to the score. We have tickets. Husband's Baby Sister is coming from Alabama.

MUST GO.

So I'll be electrocuting myself all night with a touch of muscle relaxant and pray for the best.

Toss a prayer up there for me, will ya?

Returning from the War

After eight relatives, one small intestinal blockage, one severe bad back spell and a whiz bang of a time in spite of it all, I'm back.

We've had Yankee Cousin (who flew away home today), two Cowboy Cousins, one Husband's Alabama sister, husband, younger daughter and two chirren we had never laid eyes on for company plus my own, down the road folks.

Mother, once again, decided to get really sick in the midst of some of it and scare us all to death. (She has to stop doing this!)

And, of course, not to be outdone, after standing/sitting in the ER for a few hours (eleven), I couldn't stand up or sit back down without crying like a big old baby and needing help to do that.(Sitting, not crying. I cry by myself very well.)

Yankee Cousin and I had an adventure on our own, as she volunteered to drive me to a chiropractor in the next town up, IF I could get in the car, which I did.

The car decided to get in on the act and I knew something was wrong by the unusual and persistant whir it was making. So we went to the garage instead; explaining our dire circumstances.

Nephew, who I claim as "First Born" because I practiced on him before Daugther was born, declared thirty minutes to repair after parts were delivered. It was twenty minutes before my appointment, which was growing more and more needed by the second.

Gazing upon my crooked and pained self, he said, and I quote, "Drive my truck".

What he did not say was my "honking, four door, six feet off the ground, monster of a truck."

It was almost worth it when we turned the corner and Yankee Cousin gazed upon it. With a tiny voice, she said, "Oh, I can't drive that."

I encouraged her to just sit behind the wheel to get a feel for it, asked First Born nephew if it was automatic (it is), and slowly began the uphill climb into the seat in my pained state.

Yankee Cousin gulped, looked at my crumpled body and said, "I guess I'm driving it..." and away we went.

Even the chiropractor winced when she saw me, and the new tech guy got all giddy when he looked at my back and exclaimed happily about how swollen I was.

Yankee Cousin was ecstatic after her wild adventure of driving such a huge vehicle, and we dubbed her a redneck for sure, now.

She treated me like a baby the rest of the time she was here. Not used to seeing me act like one, I guess it shook her up pretty badly.

Maybe by next week I will be back to my normal every day pain, Mother will be feeling okay again, and we can resume normal as we know it.

Thank God the refrigerator stayed fixed.

The Elbow's Connected to the...

Man, I got something bad wrong with my elbow. Of course, it's my right one, so there is no way to rest it very much.

I believe it's called Tennis Elbow, which is odd, since the only time I've played tennis was the one time when Husband and I were dating (1984) and he offered to teach me how to play.

That was a bust, because he kept rolling around on the court laughing.

I've never been what you would call graceful.

I think it should be more like Firewood Elbow, because it all started when it snowed and we had a nice fire and I couldn't leave it alone. I kept putting wood on the fire. The pieces weren't heavy, so I knew it wouldn't hurt my back if I was careful. I would pick the wood up with one hand, (I have big hands), reach my arm out straight, bend a little and put the wood on. I did this several times.

That was in February, and my elbow just keeps getting worse.

I asked the chiropractor. She said, "Hmmmmm. Why don't you get the massage therapist to look at it."

I asked the massage therapist and she did more than look. After she tried to kill me by elbow methodology, (which actually helped, briefly) she said I might try heat. (Ice hadn't helped)

Neither did heat.

I asked my internist. She said, "Hmmmm. Why don't you get your neurologist to look at it." (I'm also having numbness in two of my fingers, which has suddenly turned into pain today.) I see him week after next. Maybe he can  help, if my elbow doesn't fall off before then.

I have also tried Arnica with ibuprofin, Glucosamine Chondroitin + MSM, Blue Emu, Power 10 and some other stinky stuff, plus Eye of Newt.

None of that has helped. But I will say since I used Eye of Newt, my vision seems to be a tad bit better.

And why is it when you have an owie, you manage to bump it into everything? I don't recall hitting my elbow much until now.

I am trying  hard not to feel sorry for myself, but I do find myself thinking how badly I really needed something else to be wrong.

Next thing you know my gizzard will get infected. Then what?

Every Which Way But Loose

I've been turned every which way but loose.

You might guess: I've been to the chiropractor.

And I've been wrassled.

I've been attacked by a nail gun, but I will give her credit: I don't think it was loaded.

I've been turned nearly upside down.

I had burning fire on the upper part of my back and ice on my lower back, all at the same time.

My arm has been rotated like she was trying to crank an old engine. (maybe she was!)

I've been given instructions and told to come back Saturday.

Boy, I hope this makes me feel better.

If it don't, it's liable to kill me dead.