How to Really Pray in Church

As I mentioned the other day, I pert near cut the top of my durn thumb off, and I've been aggravated ever since!

How's that for Southern talk?

I did this to get you ready to talk about church, and in a way a lot of Yankee ladies would NEVER do.

Okay, so I got this hurt thumb and for the first time in I don't know when, I wind up going to church without family.

I'm very cold natured, (ok, except when I'm having a hot flash, see previous blog) so I put on my new tights, and then pull up  my "onsie" over them. I don't really  know what they are called, but that's what you call them on babies. For women's wear, the top has a bra made into it, and it fastens in the crotch. It fits sort of like a lacy bathing suit. I wear them when I'm going to be sitting a long time because it helps my back.

I put on my warm little sweater that has the tiny pearl like buttons in the back. My daughter had to button them for me, because with my bum thumb it was a no go.

I teach Sunday School, and afterwards, as usual, I go to a pew, put down  my Bible, purse, and other stuff, and head for the ladie's room.

I get in the stall, drop my dress pants and realize I can't get the hook and eyes unfastened on my onsie because of my dumb thumb. I consider stripping from the top down, because after all, I'm in a stall and no one can see me.

But I can't get those tiny little pearl like buttons unbuttoned.

Now, I have many close friends at my church, in fact we are all a pretty close knit bunch. But not so close as I'd ask someone to unfasten my onsie, being where the fastner is located and all.

"Okay," I mutter to myself. "I'll just have to wait."

I pull up my dress pants and  leave the ladie's room with a full smile - even though a little forced - on my face.

As the sermon progresses, I become more uncomfortable. Then more uncomfortable.

Did I mention I am on a diuretic?

And that, dear reader, is how to really pray in church.