Things That Go Bump

There's a tree that grows sideways in the pathway where Husband walks the dog.

He said he was looking down, kicking the wheel thingie the dog plays with, when he smacked his head against this tree, by walking right into it.

Again.

For the sixth time.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. SIX times.

You can make an excuse for the first time. You can maybe make an excuse for the second time, if there has been a huge lapse between the head smacking.

But....six times?

Now, it's true Husband's life insurance is paid up.

But still, I am beginning to worry. As evidenced by this very behavior, Husband cannot afford to lose more brain cells. You know, and I know, that head smackin' ain't doing him much good in the save-the-brain-cell campaign.

What are ways to prevent this, you ask?

Perhaps wrap Husband's head up in a foam filled do-rag each time he goes out? Install one of those contraptions that go 'beep-beep-beep' when one is backing up, but install this one to go in the forward direction? Attach a motion sensor devise to the tree,so that when Husband's noggin gets too close he hears a voice screaming, "Yo, fool! Don't you go hittin' me no more!"

I suppose there are other creative ways to prevent this tragedy from reoccurring.

Husband says he has the solution.

He's gonna cut the tree down.

After all, it's the tree's fault, right?

Adding to this on 3/31/15: Make that Seven. That's right. And Husband has gone to the wood with his little hatchet...