Sooner or Later, It Had to Happen

I've been in the know for years, but most have not.

Vegans feel that they are so above us meat munchin crew because we eat dead stuff. Like animals, and chickens and fishies for that matter.

Well, now the truth is out. According to this really cool blog BY A SCIENTIST!!!, the sweet smell of freshly mown grass is really a cry for help from the grass itself. It is in response to the "physical wounding the grass has received from the lawn mower".

Ouch.

The way I found out about the plants feeling pain (think of romping in the grass now, why don't cha?)was from watching "The Twilight Zone".

When I was a growing girl, your education was not rounded out unless you watched "The Twilight Zone" every week at ten p.m., then were so frozen in fear to the couch you couldn't get to your bed and everyone else in the house was sound asleep.

One episode dealt with this poor man, who for some reason, had suddenly developed the ability to hear plant life.

The thing that horrified me and shook me to the core, was when a tree was being cut down and we, the audience, were permitted to hear the groaning and screaming coming from the mighty oak as it was felled.

I was a tree hugger before the show...and after the show? Well.

So,back to my question: What are vegans going to do?

Meat, fish and fowl are out.
Dairy products are out.
Now, all plant life is out.

What's left?

Water (unless they develop guilt regarding all the live stuff swimming around in the water that I presume they kill when they drink it...) Well, unless it kills them first, of course.

Ramen noodles and margarine ( I hear they are both really plastic)

And surely rice cakes, as they do not taste like food, but cardboard.

Oh, wait. Cardboard comes from trees.

Ya'll vegans are in a world of hurt.

Just like the grass.