Mama's Boy

I'm reading a book written by an obvious Southern Mama's boy.

The south is famous for mama's boys, and it can be very good or very, very bad.

I have heard famous southerner's brag about being a mama's boy. Country music singers, I think, have to be a mama's boy.

I've always heard: look at the way the boy treats his mama and you'll see how he is going to treat you.

But that's not always true. Some mama's coddle and spoil and rule over so severely that the boy is going to expect you to treat him like his mama did.  They can't seem to grow up and move away from the mama/son relationship into a wife/husband relationship.

Husband is a mama's boy, and it is a good thing. He would call her and start the conversation thusly: "Mama, Baby."

She would giggle, she loved it.

His baby sister did not giggle. When she was around to hear it, she would of course, defend her position.

It did no good.

When Husband was working in his home town, he originally had an apartment. But he said he found himself going from work to his mama's, eating supper, visiting, and going to his apartment ten minutes away to sleep, and then repeat the same the next day.

He finally gave up, moved back home and paid his parents rent. That way, (wait for it) he got breakfast in bed every morning. And by breakfast I mean biscuits, eggs, gravy, bacon, and fresh coffee.

No lie.

The few times we spent the night with them after we married, I was treated the same way. It's rather humbling.

But with Husband, he transferred all that to taking care of me. I got coffee in bed every morning as he gently woke me up to start the day. I am not an easy riser, not a morning person and he knows that. But the sweet part of this is, neither is he.

The closest to breakfast in bed I ever got to from him was a banana sandwich on Saturday mornings. But,hey, you take what you get.

Being a mama's boy taught him well.

Unfortunately, some mama's boys are unhealthy in their attachment and it causes all sorts of disturbing qualities. ("Psycho" anyone?")

This writer that I speak of seems to worship his mama, to the point that he can't stay married. No woman can live up to her. He may gently poke fun at her, but I bet you wouldn't fare well if you did it.

I was a therapist for many years, and it is amazing how many problems stem from our relationship with our mothers. Men seem to have more damage in some ways than women, although I've seen some pretty grim outcomes from the females, too.

I know no parent is perfect, Lord knows I sure ain't. But I have prayed nearly every step of the way, and hopefully Daughter isn't too damaged by all  my foolishness.

I never had a son, so I don't know how I would have done there.

But I sure see the difference between how mothers treat their sons versus how they treat their daughters. I see it in my mother as well as hear my friends speak it.

Mother's (seem to) never see their boys as men, and they always see their daughters as the responsible ones who will take care of them because obviously, the boys just can't do it.

So, Mamas, I only have one word of advice after all these pig trails I've been running.

Don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys.

Eh, it's as good advice as any, I reckon.