Of Stinky Brothers, Hunky Boyfriends and Falling Christmas Trees

Long ago, in a house about five miles away, lived a family of which I happened to be a member.

I was fifteen, my stinky twin brothers were five, and my daddy had gone to pick up my mother from work.

My handsome, hunky fifteen year old boyfriend showed up early, and I figured it wouldn't hurt for us to be alone (if you excluded the stinky twins) for a few minutes. He wasn't allowed to be at my house unless some parent or other was present, but for a few minutes, what could go wrong?

May I take a moment to say: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Five year old boys get stinkier by the minute when a boyfriend is around.

I hope, nay, I pray, they have been repaid for their vile behavior of long ago.

Trying to get just two minutes of kissy and cuddle from my absolutely gorgeous boyfriend, I turned my back on aforementioned stinkos, and what, you may ask, did they do?

I'll tell you what they did. They climbed behind our rickety, starting to dry out Christmas tree and TURNED IT OVER.

No one can be as embarrassed as a fifteen year old girl in front of her movie star looking boyfriend.

If one could kill with tinkling ornaments, I would have returned to the land of being an only child.

And beautiful boyfriend? He was laughing so hard he couldn't get off the couch.

But, finally, when I told him my parents were going to walk through that door ANY MINUTE, he got it together, and being about six feet five inches tall, he picked up the tree, and screwed it back into the stand with no problem. (He had three stinky baby brothers, so it was probably no big deal to him.)

I mopped up the water, gave the tree fresh water, and we hurriedly put the ornaments back on, albeit in a haphazard way.

I doubt my parents even noticed, as I was the one who did all the decorating anyway. But I figured they woulda caught on if the tree had been lying prone in the middle of the living room floor. They weren't THAT disinterested.

My stinky brothers, of course, had turned into angelic cherubs, due to fear of beheading.

So, by the time my parents got home, we were all watching TV as though nothing had ever happened.

And my stunning boyfriend did not dump me because of the incident.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is true love.