911, What is your emergency?

I know you have heard these words, even if you've never personally called 911 yourself.

TV uses them on shows. And of late, there have been tales of the funny reasons people call this emergency only telephone number.

I heard a little boy tell the operator he needed help with his homework.

I've also seen heroic stuff, like when the dog knocked the phone off the counter and hit speed dial to call 911 because their master was in the floor unresponsive when he begged for dog biscuits.

Also, the brave little kids who keep it together and are able to not only call 911 but tell them where they live and ask the disabled parent who is in need of emergency services questions that are helpful to the operator.

Daughter called me at 1 a.m. a few days ago, frantic. She was on her way home, came round a very sharp curve in the darkest dark of the night and barely missed a black cow standing in the middle of said curve.

She had pulled over, knowing she must do something to prevent some not so fortunate person from hitting that heifer and killing every body involved.

I told her to call 911.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. This is a bona fide bovine emergency. You could be saving a life. Maybe two. If they question you, tell 'em to call your mama."

Well, she called 911, and frankly they didn't seem all that surprised.

I guess being rural and all, they get this kind of thing all the time.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"Wahl, thar's a blame cock fight going on at mah na-boors and I cain't get ta sleep fer all the ya-hooing a'goin' on. Ah need sumbody to come over an stop them fools."

"911, what is your emergency?"

"There's this big horse outside my house (I think it's a Belgian), and every time we try to leave, he throws back his head and says, 'Nay!'"

I could go on, but I'd like you to read me again sometime, so I'll close by telling you this:

Daughter and I were coming home last evening and up ahead we saw blue lights. Daughter said, "Right there is where that cow was out when I called you the other night."

And sure enough, as we crept closer, that heifer was out again! The deputy was herding her with his car back inside the fence, which he did successfully, scaring several cows while doing so. They all took off away from the fence.

I sure am glad I don't work for emergency services.

You never know when there'll be a serious event.

Like a cat up in a tree.