They've Lost Their Minds

This morning started out real good, like always.

Daddy said, "Let's go for aWALKIE." This is very good. I love my den (which they call CRATE), but after all night I am ready to run!

We always get THEWHEEL to go out in the woods, because I love it above all toys and it gives me good exercise.

Usually,Daddy let's me carry THEWHEEL and when we get back on the porch he says, "DROP IT!" and I do. But I never DROP IT! in the woods, no matter how many times Daddy says this, I just can't let it go.

But this morning, Daddy could not find THEWHEEL. He told Mommy I must have left it in the woods, and that I would know where it was.

This is true. Except I did not leave it. Daddy has leaved it somewhere.

I am sad.

Because when Daddy leaves something somewhere, it stays for a long, long time. Until Mommy finds it, usually.

Anyway, Daddy let me off the LEASH so I could run and maybe find THEWHEEL out in our SPOT in the woods that is flat and grassy where I love to run.

But something wonderful had happened! The ground was all tore up, and wonderful, strong smelling brown stuff was everywhere! What joy! I ran as fast as I could and flopped down and rolled and rolled.

Daddy yelled to STOP, but I could not STOP any more than I can DROP IT! out in the woods.

Daddy had to wade in and get me and put my LEASH on and drag me home.

He rang the bell at our house. Don't you think it's funny he rang the bell at our house?

Mommy came to the door and took one look at me and said to me and Daddy both "STAY!"

When we were allowed in, I was taken straight up stairs. This is where the crazy part came in.

I wanted to go to CRATE but Daddy made me keep walking. They closed the bathroom doors and Daddy took me to the thing they call BATHTUB. OH NO!

I was wet, then wetter, and they put soap on me and scrubbed me down.

I have tried to be a good dog. But they washed all the good smell off me! And made me wet! I am not a water dog, I am a bull dog!

At least they had the decency to towel dry me and then leave me alone after telling me how sweet and good I smelled.

Mommy and Daddy have lost their minds. They washed all the good smell down the drain.

Now, I don't even smell like me.

I smell like a girl human.

How much worse can things get?

If you see THEWHEEL please call us. I don't know how to work the phone, but I guess you humans know. Mommy and Daddy and Girl are OBEDIENT when the phone makes a noise and they talk.

So call where I live and they will talk. I need THEWHEEL bad, so hurry.