Odd Conversation tidbits

Pulling up to a fast food drive thru and ordering, then pulling to window and young girl sticks her head out and says, "Ya'll are the ones that ordered blah, blah, blah with cookies, right?"
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Me to Daughter: "I've heard that new thrift store is really good. Let's plan on going to The Shutterbug Wednesday."

Daughter: "It's Clutterbug, Mama, not Shutterbug."

Me: Oh, that's right! Shutterbug is - " (and before I can finish my sentence)

Daughter: "Some old fashioned kind of dance."

Me:  "No, no, that's Jitterbug. Shutterbug is a magazine for camera buffs."

Daughter: "Whatever."

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Husband and I talking about another slide into the moral lapse of our country, when Daughter (about age fifteen then) chimes in: "We're all going to  heck in a hellbasket."

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Mother and other workers giving their order for lunch to my daddy, who would bring it back to the department store. A lady store clerk Mother worked with then turns to customer who has previously asked for help with sizing a bra for his wife. Store clerk asks: "And what size hamburger would she need?"

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Husband, Daughter and I talking about the tragedy in the news, where the tiger had mauled the famous partner in a taming act. But we couldn't think of the men's names. "Sigmund and Freud!" Daughter responds brightly.

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Me, about a twelve year old, watching "Bonanza" with Daddy.

Daddy, watching the character Adam intently volunteers this bit of information: "I hear that feller that plays Adam is really bald on top and wears a tee pee."

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Two year old Daughter wanders into my room with an expectant look on her face. "What did you say, Mama?"

Me: "I didn't say anything, honey."

Daughter, thoughtfully, "Then what was it you didn't say?"

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Daughter and I at local restaurant. Waiter walks up, smiling to self, obviously listening to those little voices inside: "May I take your order?"

Daughter orders.

Waiter looks alarmed. "No, you don't want to order that."

Daughter, looking at me with big eyes."Well, okay. I'll have something else."

Relief washes over crazy waiter and he then fails to give us silverware, hands us the bill with over a hundred dollars in the black cover that's supposed to be our bill, and when he hands me the pen with which to sign the credit card receipt the pen springs apart in my hand and parts fly all over the restaurant.

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Client pitching fit over telephone about her bill, so I take the phone from the secretary and ask what the problem is. Lady says: "I'm tired of ya'll hairy-assing me!"

Me: We aren't trying to harass you, ma'am."
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Me pulling up to drive through at a fast food place, "I'll have an order of fries, please."

Person inside: "Would you like fries with that?"

Me: "Well, yeah, that was sort of the point.....