A Long Winter's Night

Before I went upstairs last evening, around seven, it was a blistering five degrees on my back porch. I haven't seen that in many years, and the weather poopahs said it was going to get colder.

So, I prepared. I put an extra quilt on our bed, a lovely double wedding ring that I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed.

And I slept in a long john top and leggings.

You, youth, would recognize long john top by the other name, thermal  underwear.

And as for the leggings, let's just say they aren't the leggings that I remember.

Ah, the leggings of the 1980's were baggy woolie things that scrunched down over your tights or tight pants from your knee down to just below your ankle.

I was quite dashing in my soft pink leggings, let me tell you. I looked like a ballerina on the cusp of a pirouette.

That's right.

I also had big hair, broad shoulders and high waisted, pleated slacks.

I was ravishing in my own right.

Anyway, as you may have noticed, I digress.

The leggings of today are nothing like those leggings.

Today's leggings come in a really, really tight form, exactly like tights without feet. I wear these a lot, under  my britches.

They come in a heavier, non-clingy version too, which a lot of girls are wearing under dresses or under long sweaters that they think are dresses, but are, they will realize in their forties (I hope), just long shirts.

We slept well, especially with the other trick up our sleeves. I have two 'horse corn' or 'feed corn' sacks that we heat up in the microwave (how's that for ancient meets modern?). These are placed under part of the covers, and a pillow laid on top of that, toward the foot of the bed.

This creates a radiating heat that tootsies love.

Of course, four cats with body temperatures around 102 degrees lying about hither and yon upon the bed help too.

This morning, I scurried to the back porch to take a look at the thermometer (I scurried back in, too). It was a bracing MINUS three degrees.

I checked our geographical placement on the map.

Yup.

We're still in the deep south.

Good thing, huh.

 Otherwise we might freeze to death.

Don't Look Now, But...

One of the biggest problems I have with my pain is clothing.

The old double barrel slingshot I have to wrap my, er, chest up in makes my back ache like a sonofagun.

I can't wear a belt or a fitted waist anymore, that hurts too much.

Shoes. Oh, lord. I have spent more in the quest for a shoe I can tolerate in the past few years than I spent on shoes my entire life before hand.

So, I have decided the solution for me is to join a nudist colony.

Well, except I'd have to wear socks, because I can't bear for my tootsies to be bare anymore.

And if it's cool, I'll have to wear these wonderful moccasins I found.

Of course, I don't like my neck and shoulders to get cold either, it causes muscle spasms, so maybe a nice shawl of some sort.

Then there's my legs. They  hurt worse if it gets cold, so I'd have to wrap 'em up in something warm....maybe some long leggings.

And the top of my arms get cold easily, too, so maybe arm bands.

Let's see: arm bands, shawl, leggings, socks and shoes.

I'm ready.

The question  is:

Are you?