Shopping

Yesterday I went with Husband for his post-op appointment with the doctor. Not to worry, he had a cataract removed, he can see better, all is well.

However; after the appointment, we grabbed a bite to eat. As some of you know, I can't sit for a long time, and by then it had been a long time, mostly sitting.

So I suggested we go in a local department store for ten minutes or so. That way I could walk a little and get on home. Also, since Husband is having his fifty year high school reunion in June, I wanted to see about new clothes. (Yes, he is hundreds of years older than I).

After wandering around in the desert of decent clothing, Husband found me. "I don't think I've ever seen so many ugly clothes in my life." I said to him.

Husband just shook his head, so I asked him was it me and he said, "Nooooo - these are really ugly clothes."

Now, I ain't inferring that either of us are fashion experts. But I am telling you, I ain't that hard to please. And these clothes were ugly.

I'm not talking about a rinky dink cheap shop, either. These ugly clothes were expensive. More than I'd pay for most attractive clothing. 

The only decent thing I saw were women's undies. They had some real purdies there, what there was of them, if you know what I mean.

The issue I have is most my clothes are old. Like as old as my daughter old.

My dressy clothes are circa 1999.

My newer clothes (what few I have) are falling off me since I lost twenty pounds, and my older clothes that actually fit again are falling off me because they are slap wore out and rot's set in.

I reckon I'll have to keep searching to find a "casual" outfit for this shindig. At least I have till the end of June.

Hey! At least they are all so old they won't even notice.

Right?

Whadda ya mean, they've only a few years older'n  me?

Hmmph!

Get Over Yourself

If you are having an issue with vanity, I know how you can get over yourself.

Be on live television.

Dear Lord.

First, any of you women out there that go to great trouble every morning to "put your face on", I commend you. Or, maybe I think you're nuts. I'm not sure which.

This morning I carefully put on make-up. A lot of make-up; because I was going to be on television. I was sure that if I looked down, it would all fall off my face,; it felt so thick.

I dressed carefully; getting Daughter's opinion about which earrings looked better.

I have a bright red, wool jacket that is very nice, and I thought a black sweater and black slacks with this jacket would be just the ticket.

I chose my expensive wool slacks, and my favorite sleeveless black sweater.

I worked on my hair, making it "bigger", if you know what I mean.

I thought I looked pretty sharp.

So, we get in the car, and as I sit down, I see in the natural light my expensive slacks are navy.

So, black everything and navy pants. I didn't have time to change, plus I knew I would only be seen from the waist up because I'd be sitting behind a table, so it only put a small chink in my confidence.

I was seated and a mic put on me. I was sitting, pretty relaxed, actually, when I accidentally saw myself in the big old TV monitor before we went live.

What the heck was my grandmother doing here?

Not my mother, no sirree. I could see Viola's chin, my grandmother's chin,  clear as day.

I had to suck it up and be cheerful, as though I had not seen this atrocity while dressed in my accidental navy pants.

I guess it went okay, but I will tell you: if you are over forty, be very, very careful what you agree to do.

Your grandma could show up and shove you out of the way and take over.