Funeral Dirge

Yesterday a large part of daylight was spent at Mother's going over funeral stuff.

Yes, it was as much fun as you imagined.

I now know who she wants to preach, who are to be asked to be pall bearers and honorary pall bearers, but that's all.

"What do you want sung?"

"Oh, you know the kind of hymn I like, 'Beyond the Sunset', like that."

Well, no actually, I don't. But I will remember this one song. Oh, and she said she'd like it if I could sing one of the songs I've written. Did I think I could do that? Not that she would ask that of me. (didn't she just?)

I told her I wasn't sure I could do that, but would if I felt like I could get through it. (I didn't say without having a heart attack or stroke, but that's what I was thinking.)

She also told me who she wanted to play the piano and sing something else, but she didn't want them singing my song, if I couldn't do it, it shouldn't be done.

"What do you want to wear?"

"Well, I don't care. I won't be there." She looked at me like I was nuts for asking. Then continued, "But don't let anything be high up on my neck. You know I cain't stand anything touchin' my neck."  Alrighty, then: won't be there, doesn't matter, no high neck, she can't stand it...

Told her she didn't have to worry, because Daughter and Niece both hate anything touching their neck, they wouldn't let it happen. She agreed.

She showed me where she put this information, as well as where her insurance policies were. "Don't spend a bunch of money on a casket. But I do want a vault. Don't forget that."

I told her I wouldn't. I remember my granddaddy being adamant about having a vault, so that shouldn't be hard to remember.

She also keeps saying (for the past 2 years) that she wants us to all get together (The Brother of Many Surgeries and The Other Brother and myself) so she can talk to us. I've said, "All you gotta do is tell one to be here Sunday afternoon when I am here (other one lives there)." 

I don't know why, exactly, she doesn't do it, or what, exactly, she wants to say.  At the rate she is going toward asking, it may forever remain a mystery.

I vowed to be more comfortable hearing all this from her than I was from my grandmother. I turned a deaf ear to her because I didn't want to know she was going to die soon (she lived to be 2 days shy of 84). 

But it's hard, ya know?