Rambling

It's not everyone who can say they sang in a backup trio for a very famous group.

I can say that because I did. That group happens to be someone you will recognize instantly. 

Veggie Tales.

Please, please, hold your adulation for later. I get enough of that stuff from my neurologist when he looks at my x-rays. (Because I'm still walking around.)

Yeah, I've done a lot of really cool stuff.

I role played (many years ago, when I was in my twenties) an angry, rebellious teenager.  I did such a good job the rest of the folks attending the workshop didn't believe I was just pretending. I tried to tell them what a nice person I was, and had never, ever behaved that way as a teen. But they never really believed me. It was a very uncomfortable rest of the week. They mostly avoided  me. Sheesh.

I've fallen up the stairs, down a mountain, tripped over my own two feet (and yours too if you get close enough). I've run into walls, furniture, other people and cars.

I've talked to some famous people and people who haven't bathed in years. (and no, they weren't the same people)

I've sung in front of a lot of people, and I've sung in the shower. Guess where I did  my best singing?

I've loved, I've been loved. I've cried and laughed and laughed till I cried. 

I have had great joy in my life, and I have had great sadness in my life. Lots of pain, but a lot of pleasure, too.

So, what am I trying to say here? 

Just that we are a lot alike, aren't we?

Well, except for the Veggie Tale part...

If You're Happy and You Know It

I don't care if Daughter is happy.

Well, that's not exactly true. Of course, when she is unhappy I feel that way a tad myself.

What I mean to say, is, I'd rather her be at peace and know where she's headed in this world, even if it means being unhappy at times.

And, being a Christian, I want her to be in God's will; which is the only permanent happiness there will be anyway.

I'm not sure God really cares if we are happy, either. Happiness is a fickle emotion that comes and goes, usually due to circumstances. 

He's more concerned with our joy; certainly a different thing than  happiness. I think we forget that most the time. Or confuse the two.

There are times when I am most unhappy. But I still have the peace and the joy that I received from The Lord God; and that will not be taken from me, even if sometimes it is a tiny little ember than can barely be felt.

Do I want Daughter to be happy?

Eh.

Do I want her to have joy?

You bet I do.

Two Things At The Same Time

How can we, as humans, feel real joy and real sadness at the same time?

But we do, and often.

Right now, I have such joy: Yankee Cousin is landing on Holy Southern Land tomorrow. Her flight is in at 7:30 a.m. and she and Husband should be back from the airport in time for us to all go to church together. Mother is doing well, walking without walker or cane. A nephew is a new daddy as of yesterday, a six pound girl. 

And, I have such sadness: A dear friend of mine is in the process of saying goodbye to her daughter. She has been unwell for a long time, and is now in the last stages of life as we know it on this side. She was unresponsive as of this morning. This dear one is only in her forties. I sang at her wedding. She is their only daughter. And Dog, dear old Molly, seems to be headed for glory land, too. Oh, it may be a few more  months...but things are declining with her health, and we have loved her and she has loved us mightily for nine years. We had hoped for longer.

 I am not comparing our sorrow of the loss of a pet with the sorrow of losing a child. Lord knows, I don't even want to ever know that sorrow.

I thank my Heavenly Father that my peace is not connected to either my joy or my sadness. It is the only constant I have.

Happiness is Fleeting

I called the library this morning to see if they had a book I desperately need.

You see, I am reading (or gobbling up) Craig Johnson's books. One must read them in order, as they are about the life of a small town sheriff.

I have two books that are to be returned, one I checked out and one I have on the sly from a friend (you know who you are). She read the book in one day, so I got it from her after church Sunday and finished it yesterday. It is still getting back to the library seven days before it's due, so if there is a person in line for it, they will be thrilled and none the wiser that I got to read it.

Anyway, the girl at the library said they did indeed  have the book I wanted, if I didn't mind large print. (I didn't ask her, but why would anybody mind large print?) I told her Husband would be by this afternoon to get it.

I was  happy! I could start a new book, one that I really, really was looking forward to!

In  less than five minutes the phone rang. It was the Library Lady. She said she'd looked everywhere and could not locate the book.

I was not happy.

Somebody needs to call the Li-burry Po-leece! I  mean, really. Has someone snuck off with my book without checking it out at the desk? Don't they  have detectors at the library doors for those thieving rat finks?

Anyway, see what I mean? Happiness is fleeting.

I believe we can have that deep abiding peace and joy Christ talked about. I have it, in fact, whether I'm happy or not.

And I also think God doesn't care whether we are happy. Many times He puts me in situations that makes me pretty unhappy. Growth and discipline aren't always fun filled, you know.

But I have His peace.

I wouldn't trade that for all the happy in the world.