NEW WEIGHT LOSS DISCOVERY!

Believe it or not, I weighed twelve pounds less this morning that I did yesterday morning.

I am willing to let  you in on  this secret for only one buck a weigh.

Of course, you must weigh on my digital scale, and no other for the weigh in.

Weigh were you usually do, then come on over and weigh on my scales. I guarantee you will weigh less.

What better bargain could this be? You can send a video or a photograph to your doctor or your weight watchers group instead of going back. 

They'll be amazed! 

Recommend this to your friends - remember, only ONE dollar for this amazing weight loss.

*Offer good only until battery is replaced in scales

Headlines and Other Nonsense

There are a lot of troubling things in the headlines lately.

But one caught my eye and made me cock my head gently to the side: Hooters Restaurant is concerned about their image. I wonder why?

I mean, I could understand their concern if their name was Biters, or say, Woofers. But Hooters? Why would they be concerned about their image? Like, what? It's gotten too clean?

And then, the other day I spoke briefly to a guy I went to  high school with - he was two years ahead of me. Something kept niggling in the back of my mind, saying that he looked familiar, and I don't mean from high school. Then it hit me. He looks just like Mr. Potato Head, and I ain't kidding.

Husband and I have changed our eating habits a little. He's lost about twelve pounds and I've lost seven. Being a man, they always do that, and it makes me mad. I don't care that we have an extra layer of fat.  But what makes me madder is I can't even tell I've lost seven pounds of blubber because this brace I'm wearing pulls all my back fat around to the front, pushes my belly fat straight up, and then bunches it all up under my...hooters.

And the restaurant is worried about their image?

They should be thinking about Mr. Potato Head and me.

Losing Weight

Do you have any idea how difficult it was to type the name of the post without falling off my chair due to laughing so hard?

This is the month of my birthday. Husband (as mentioned in a previous blog) always gets an Italian Cream cake for me. I get one a year, so I deserve it, right?

I also got a free birthday coupon from Ruby Tuesday. That would be two red velvet cupcakes.

And a free desert from Copeland's, also known as the Cheesecake Factory. 

Need I say more?

Got another free one for a desert from Caraba's, the most bestest wonderfulest place to eat in the world.

My walking routine has been kaput for some months due to my illness, rain, cold, rain, cold, ice, snow, rain.

Lose weight?

I'd have a better chance of winning the lottery.

Without buying a ticket.

I think I read somewhere that people used to swallow some kind of worm to lose weight.

I don't know what kind of worm, and I plan on keeping it that way.

If I thought about it enough, I might lose a few pounds anyway, cause that's, like, gross.

I have this war inside anyway.

I'm gonna be s- six - older in a few days, so what difference does it make if I need to lose a dozen pounds? Am I going to put on a bikini?  Lord, no.  Am I entering a beauty contest? Nope. Do I need to snare me another man? Ain't looking. And even if I was, if he couldn't take a dozen extra pounds, I'd look right over him.

On the other hand, I miss my favorite pair of blue jeans actually zipping up while I'm standing.  And I figure a dozen less pounds would be good for my back and knees, not to mention my vanity.

What to do, what to do.

I'll decide when all the cake is gone.

I'll keep you posted.