Ambushed by a Broken Heart

Emotions amaze me.

Today I was in a Bible study, and during it, the youngest of us tearfully started telling us her husband of thirteen years had announced he wanted a divorce.

And suddenly, I was thrown back into my own history. The anguish, the grief, the suffering I went through many years ago when  my twelve year marriage finally broke, the last feeble thread fraying beyond any kind of recovery.

Tears sprang to my eyes as my heart rate sped up, my stomach churned and I began to shake. I thought I was going to start sobbing.

I pulled myself together because she is the one with pain in the present. Mine belongs in the past, and stays there almost always.

I truly thought I'd never feel that pain again.

After all, I have been re-married for nearly twenty-nine years. Husband is nothing like the one who really doesn't deserve to be called husband anything, even ex; he doesn't deserve the honor or title of that word.

I guess seeing that young woman's raw sorrow, the look that said, "I don't know what I'm going to do." broke my heart all over again.

And through my broken heart for her, I felt my own, where the scar lives. I may have healed, but the scar is there.

If you are a praying person, please pray for this young woman. She has a long way ahead of her full of the kind of misery you can't understand unless you have lived it.

Time will make her heal. Perhaps she'll find another man who will actually be a good man, a real "Husband", as I did.

But her scar?

It will be there forever.

Before They Knew Sunday was Coming

 Easter is coming up Sunday.

I always think about the Friday before, and what a horrible day it was.

Jesus, The Christ, had suffered physically more than most of us will ever know. He suffered spiritually more than any of us will ever know.

The people who loved Him suffered too. His mother, watching the agony He went through. His disciples, afraid, ashamed, confused, they too in agony over this horrific scene.

How could this have happened? Didn't He say He was The Christ? Didn't He say, "If you have seen Me, you have seen the Father?"

If that was true, how could this have happened? How could He have allowed Himself to be captured and tortured and slain?

Had they all been wrong about Him after all?

True, He had said as much. He said He must suffer and die. But they hadn't really wanted to hear that, you know? They focused more on what He did - all those miracles - and the kingdom He talked about.

They wanted to hear the good stuff. Forget the hard stuff. After all, God is love, right? And Jesus did all sorts of stuff that no one else could do...and wasn't that enough?

But now....they were hidden upstairs in a locked room, fearful for their lives. Every noise was imagined Roman soldiers coming for them.

They grieved, and grieved deeply. But they were also ticked off. How could He do this to them? How could He have left them...alone and with no hope?

Where was He?

The women in Jesus' life apparently feared less, or had less to fear...for they went to the tomb to better prepare His body.

And to their utter dismay, the body was gone. The stone rolled back, discarded. The burial clothes were rumpled, the face cloth neatly folded, and laid aside.

Someone had stolen His body! Where were the Roman guards who were to prevent this?

Where could He be?

And then one of those miracles happened...young men, dressed in white, encased in bright light told them not to be alarmed. "You are looking for Jesus of Nazareth. He is not here. He is risen!"

And then the world was changed forever.

He is risen! He is risen, indeed!