A Fan of My Fan

So much  has been happening lately, I've barely had time to think about it, much less write about it.

But one thing stands out, and I gotta write it down.

I had a book signing a few days ago. it was pouring rain, and I was a little concerned nobody would bother to come out in this cold wet mess.

I began to cry with the first person I saw.

No, I'm not being silly or dramatic. Here's the story behind the tears:

Every book signing I've ever had, Mrs. Defore has shown up. She was a tiny elderly woman. I had graduated high school with one of her daughters. Her daughters made sure she got there. She was always all dressed up, her eyes full of sparkle and excitement. She said she loved my books almost as much as she loved me and couldn't wait to start reading. 

I always found myself watching for her out of the corner of my eye, as I was turning into her biggest fan.

Mrs. Defore passed away last year. As soon as I heard the news, my heart broke a little. I knew I wouldn't be seeing her eager happiness at my next book signing.

So when I looked up and saw her daughter walking down the sidewalk, I began to weep.

As she came though the door she, too, began to cry and we just held each other for a moment.

"Mother loved you and your books so much. There was just no way I could not come today. I want a book, and I want you to sign it in memory of her."

I wrote, "In memory of my beloved friend Jewel"

Suddenly, even if no one else turned up (which, thank goodness, they did), my day was worth it.

I miss you, Jewel Defore.

I've Looked at Clouds from Both Sides Now/Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

How long has it been since you laid down in the grass, put your hands behind your head, and gazed at the clouds, identifying all the amazing things  you saw there?

Or watched the stars, waiting for a falling one, identifying the constellations?

It's been a long time for me because:

a. I'm afraid a bug would get on me  b. the ground might be damp  c. I couldn't get back up d. all the above

As a child, I would do these things alone or with a friend or two when we were so bored we couldn't think of another thing to do for fun.

"There's an elephant! There's a whale! Do you see the bear?  Oh, come on, it's right there! See?"

And so on.

And looking at the stars at night always fascinated me. Like chips of winking diamonds, they seemed alive and secret.

In 1997, when the Hale-Bopp comet was streaking through the skies, we took Daughter to a darker place than our yard to see it. I guess we did that about three times during it's streak. It interested us more than it did her, but it brought back a lot of star gazing memories for me.

We have, over my adult years, identified cloud shapes, too. Usually from inside a moving car where we might have  stretch of road to see the sky.

In this way you can watch the dinosaur lose shape, either turning into something else entirely or nothing at all.

My childhood was spent outdoors a lot, especially in summer. In fact, the door may have been locked during the day. (I kid, I kid, we never locked our doors.)

Before air conditioning, the coolest place was under or up in a big old tree, the adults sitting on the porch, maybe with the floor fan blowing from the inside of the screen door, if you could find a cord to reach that far.

How long has it been since you climbed a tree?

I don't anymore because: a. there might be a bug on it b. the bark might be damp c. I couldn't get back down (well, even up to start with) or d. all the above

But I can still sit on the porch!

And when we occasionally come home late, I lean against the car, gaze up at the sky, looking at my small patch of sky the trees don't hide...

And I make a nostalgic wish.

Today, take a moment, glance at a cloud, gaze at a star.

Even if you ain't laying on the ground to do it.