Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

It's interesting to me how things happen in groups. (Yes, many times in threes, although I hope this time it ain't so).

I've never been involved with funerals or  memorials or anything else that involved ashes.

I'm not sure, but I think not too many years ago most the people I know would have frowned on it. I'm not sure why, other than the nod to the body being burned having a superstitious connection to the fires of Hell.

But my aunt and uncle died a few years ago very close together and were cremated. Turns out their oldest daughter saved a bit of their ashes to be spread here, where they both were born and raised. She died a few months ago, too, and she, too, was cremated. She requested that her ashes be spread here.

So, my cousins, when visiting this year, brought their parents' and sister's ashes in order to scatter them here and say the final good-bye.

Before they arrived, however; I got news that my ex-husband had been killed. 

Now, I haven't been married to this man for a long, long time. In fact, Husband and I have been for 32 years. 

But I was married to him, and for twelve years. He was not a good husband. He was not a very good man, and the older he got the worse he became. 

But still - I have to say I was stunned. I guess because he was killed in an accident, in an unexpected way. And that he was living in a homeless shelter. This shouldn't have come as a surprise, and in a way it didn't.

He, too, has been cremated. And because he pretty much ostracized himself from his family, they have contacted me for as much information as I could offer. When was he born? Could I tell them something good about him to put in the obituary? Did I have a photograph they could use? 

I haven't minded helping in any way I could, but it's also saddened me that I am the only one who has anything to connect him to this life. And we have been divorced for 33 years. 

My aunt, uncle and first cousin's scattering of ashes was very symbolic and meaningful. I won't go into detail here, but it was very moving.

If I can, I will go to my ex-husband's service because - well, I'm not sure why. 

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...

Indeed..