Like, when you are sleeping soundly after tossing and turning for an hour, they wake you by shaking you gently (read earthquake) to tell you that you are "breathing too loud."
I asked, "Do you want me to stop breathing?" And assuming that he does not, "Leave me alone!"
"But you are making a noise and I can't go to sleep."
This coming from a man who snores so loudly neighbors have called to complain.
So what if I am making a small
And if I wake him up to tell him he's snoring? Once he said, "Are you sure?" Once he said, "Are you sure it was me?" I told him no, I wasn't sure, maybe it was the guy on the other side of the bed.
Sheesh.
And then there's the way he doesn't get out of the car. I've had other women mention this about their husband, too.
I can be in the house (and I gimp, remember), feed the cats, do a load of laundry and floss. I look out the window and he is finally exiting the car, going around the entire vehicle making sure all the doors are locked. They are, and the keys are in the ignition.
Again.
The silver lining to that is it's the only time he knows where he left the keys.
How about the way he asks if I've washed the apple, tomato, whatever I may have just offered him a piece of? I mean, really? "Nope," I say, firmly, "I never wash 'em. Eat 'em dirty, that's what I say," as I chomp a big old bite.
Oh, and he's Columbo, too. He always reminds me to lock the front door behind him, but I don't. Not right away.
Because he always comes back before he actually gets in the car and drives off.
At least twice.
And what about the way he drinks water?
Oh my lord!
He fills a glass. He takes two swigs. He empties the glass. He fills it again. He takes two swigs. He empties the glass. He fills it again....you get the picture.
He drives me crazy sometimes.
And yet....
I'd go crazy without him.
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