Kefir This and Kefir That

Raise your hand if you like the taste of Kefir.

Now, log off. You have no reason to read this blog any further today.

I have a feeling no one left.

Why? Well, have you tasted Kefir?

It has the consistency of paint, it even smells like paint. It is lumpy and thick. 

It is alive, which squicks me out, as I mentioned in a previous blog.

I am mixing it with strawberry yogurt and graham crackers in an attempt to get it down every morning. That works pretty well if you like your yogurt tart.

At  night, I've started just chugging down a couple of ounces, then chasing it with cold water and a spoon full of yogurt.

I never knew I could be so brave.

And, it is  making me better. I am probably 90% better; looking forward to being well.

So, if you have tummy troubles of any kind, find someone who makes kefir at home. The grocery store kind has been pasteurized, and isn't very strong, and to top that off, it still tastes horrible. 

You remember Little Miss Muffet? She was eating kefir. Yep, it's curds and whey. I can't believe a spider frightened her if she was sitting on a tuffet (what the heck is a tuffet?) eating kefir. She shoulda just dumped the bowl on that big boy's head and kilt him dead.

Anyway, I think I'm gonna enter the tough  man contest. 

Can't be any worse than this.

Cuss Words - Appalachian Style

I swan. I ain't never been so all fired mad in all my life. That dad gum, fool ridden, jar head of a son-in-law has done riled up all the devilment in me today.

That was a fine example, wasn't it? I used son-in-law because I don't have one, and figured no one would start to wonder who I was mad at.

When my grandfather would be doing something "tedjus" and his fingers would slip, you could hear him mutter, "Sh-tucks."

My grandmother on the other side just came right out and said it.

Other Appalachian cuss words I can recall: Carnsarned, dad blamed, gosh darn, backass-eards, (long a), I swany, tarnation, and thunderation.

There are probably hundreds more. If you know them, let me know. I could sure use a few more after today:

There was a spider biggern all git out on the fireplace. Thought Daughter was going to have to be hospitalized.

Husband put the garbage out in the truck (again) and the bear emptied the truck (again). Why does Husband keep doing this....

The fox came 'round the front of the house and then went trotting up the road! Don't he know  he's gonna git his fool self kilt?

Daughter picked up a flower pot off the sidewalk to put back on the porch and two scorpions fell at her feet. Hospitalization # 2.

While we were eating lunch, Molly, our dog, came ambling in the kitchen with the cat's tent wrapped around her neck. She walked up to me, stopped, and just stared at me. I guess she knew who to come to when trouble had her by the throat.

I jammed my ring finger into the chair, ripping the  nail way below the white, into the nail bed.

That right there is worth at least four of them Appalachian cuss words.

Don't hesitate to write or call 'em in.