EEEEEEEE Books

So, like, this old dog (me) is trying to learn a new trick.

Woof.

I had a very generous young man attempt, with more patience than you can shake a stick at (can you shake a stick at patience?) to teach me how to convert one of my novels to an e-book.

Easy! You say. People do it all the time! You say.

Those may very well be true statements. I don't really know. I am almost positive they are true statements if the people you speak of are under, say forty.

Ever since they entered the workforce, part of the "force", is being forced (or as far as they are concerned, insert play for force) to use technology. It's second nature to those in their mid-thirties downward.

I hatessss them all, my precious.

Well, except for the nice young man who has, with more slow speaking, repeating language than a kindergarten teacher with a room full of just-off the-turnip-truck students. Who maybe don't speak the same language as the teacher. Plus, they are wearing ear plugs.

Sigh.

However; believe it or not, progress is being made!

I converted my novel into an e-book! But the format was all wrong! Too much empty space! Nothing should be centered on the page! All fonts should be the same! The indention for each paragraph was too big! No page numbers!

So, my font is now uniform. I have cleaned up empty space through Chapter Eight. Also,through chapter eight, things are not centered, the paragraphs are the correct indentations.

Ah, but the page numbers? No, sir. I click on remove page numbers. I hear laughter. Ain't gonna happen, not no how, not no way.

I guess I will be calling my patient young man again.

He told me to, anyway, as soon as I got all that mess cleaned up. And I will finish.

Eventually.