Funeral Dirge

Yesterday a large part of daylight was spent at Mother's going over funeral stuff.

Yes, it was as much fun as you imagined.

I now know who she wants to preach, who are to be asked to be pall bearers and honorary pall bearers, but that's all.

"What do you want sung?"

"Oh, you know the kind of hymn I like, 'Beyond the Sunset', like that."

Well, no actually, I don't. But I will remember this one song. Oh, and she said she'd like it if I could sing one of the songs I've written. Did I think I could do that? Not that she would ask that of me. (didn't she just?)

I told her I wasn't sure I could do that, but would if I felt like I could get through it. (I didn't say without having a heart attack or stroke, but that's what I was thinking.)

She also told me who she wanted to play the piano and sing something else, but she didn't want them singing my song, if I couldn't do it, it shouldn't be done.

"What do you want to wear?"

"Well, I don't care. I won't be there." She looked at me like I was nuts for asking. Then continued, "But don't let anything be high up on my neck. You know I cain't stand anything touchin' my neck."  Alrighty, then: won't be there, doesn't matter, no high neck, she can't stand it...

Told her she didn't have to worry, because Daughter and Niece both hate anything touching their neck, they wouldn't let it happen. She agreed.

She showed me where she put this information, as well as where her insurance policies were. "Don't spend a bunch of money on a casket. But I do want a vault. Don't forget that."

I told her I wouldn't. I remember my granddaddy being adamant about having a vault, so that shouldn't be hard to remember.

She also keeps saying (for the past 2 years) that she wants us to all get together (The Brother of Many Surgeries and The Other Brother and myself) so she can talk to us. I've said, "All you gotta do is tell one to be here Sunday afternoon when I am here (other one lives there)." 

I don't know why, exactly, she doesn't do it, or what, exactly, she wants to say.  At the rate she is going toward asking, it may forever remain a mystery.

I vowed to be more comfortable hearing all this from her than I was from my grandmother. I turned a deaf ear to her because I didn't want to know she was going to die soon (she lived to be 2 days shy of 84). 

But it's hard, ya know?

Busy Days

The past couple of days have been rather hectic. 

Day before yesterday I had lunch with a friend. She has retired, and we vowed we'd have lunch about once a month. Many months have passed, and although we have scheduled 101 times, this was the first time we actually, you know, ate together.

This doesn't sound like much to the average person - going out to lunch- but it's something I have to get over, which usually means bed for the rest of the day.

Whatever. It was worth it. 

Yesterday was the funeral day. Husband's friend was being put to rest. The funeral was out of town. It was an unusual funeral, for many reasons, and when it was over it could not have been raining any harder.

We were hungry; I had not had any food since breakfast. By the time I got in the restaurant, I was soaked. Yes, I had an umbrella. In fact I had a very  large umbrella. But my legs were soaked anyway. Through lined pants and leggings underneath that. Ugh.

We ate like pigs and drove home in a heavy rainfall.

Needless to say, it was another get-me-to-bed-quick kind of evenings. 

Tomorrow I'm having lunch with another friend then taking Mother to the doctor.

I think I'll just go ahead and get ready for bed now.

Funerals

I went to a funeral today. Standing room only. There was a lot of good, funny stories and unbelievable singing, as I knew there would be. He was a great musician, as was most of his family.

I've been to many funerals when the place was packed. Most of those times it was a very young person, or once, a teacher who had little children.

Once, a friend and I went to a funeral and we were the only two people there except for maybe six family members. The deceased was in her nineties and had been out of the area for some years. I guess folks just forgot about her.

I wonder which one mine will be.

How about you?

Do you want a great big celebration of your life, testimonies as to how  you lived, with lots of family and friends to fill the room?

Or do you want to outlive everybody who really loved you and be remembered by a few old co-workers and one "baby" brother who is almost ready for the grave himself?

And, the last question, does it really matter?

Not to the deceased, I bet.

But to be on the safe side, I'm gonna do my best to come up with some good stories for folks to tell about me!

Feel free to ad lib when the time comes, I'm sure I won't care either.