Dear (fill in charitable organization name here),
Please, please, I beg of you, no more!
I have address labels with my name and address on them. I have enough to wall paper every square inch of the Biltmore. I have enough, that if I mailed five letters a day, I would have to live to be 563 years, one week, three days and fifteen minutes before I could use them up. (And that would be only if the postman ran before I expired the fifteen minute day.)
I have them for every holiday, including ones I didn't know existed and don't know why we are celebrating it.
I have frilly ones, childish ones, serious ones, patriotic ones, and plain ones.
I have enough address labels for each man, woman and child on the planet, plus a few left over for those aliens everyone talks about.
Of course, nobody could use 'em, unless an alien has my name.
I am at the point that I will give the charity money if they refuse to send me address labels.
Or if they will take some back.
Just please, please stop.
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